Help Me Out
Oct. 20th, 2011 09:17 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
damigellaI started writing this after reading ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
deelaundry's wonderful idea. Then cuddyclothes' masterpiece came out, so I didn't know what to do. But then I decided there's never enough h/w porn in the world. Many thanks to menolly_au for providing encouragement and support.
Summary. Another improper use of the red shoes. Post-ep for 8.03, hence minor spoilers.
Warning. Adult material. Smuff (smut+fluff, but mostly smut). Dialog only.
Word Count: about 600.
"House, why did you page me? Uh, what are you doing?"
"Ssh… don't distract me. I'm almost there… dang! I can't fit my right foot. My left I managed, but the right won't go. Could you help?"
"Whose shoes are these?"
"Adams gave them to Park but she doesn't want them. I thought I might try them on. Now can you help me? I'm a cripple, you know."
"Okay. Push now, I'm holding it for you. There you go. Eeek, what's that?"
"Lube, you moron. I don't want to scar my feet."
"You'll hurt your feet at the first step. It's the worst I've seen since a diagram on feet-binding in my orthopedics book."
"Don't worry, I don't plan to walk. I just find my legs look better this way. Don't you? Or should I have used briefs instead of boxers?"
"I… uh… I guess you're good. If you keep your feet on the desk like that you shouldn't get damages. At least not for the first half an hour."
"Oh, I plan to be done much earlier than that! Now masturbate me, please."
"Now WHAT?"
"Are you having hearing problems? Get your ears washed, and if it persists I can run a differential with the full Charlie's Angels, I'm sure Thirteen will be happy to come back for you. Anyway I said masturbate me, and I even added please. Come on, it doesn't have to take all night."
"Why should I?"
"Because I can't. To keep comfortable in this position I need my hands behind my neck. Plus, it's much more relaxing. But I don't earn enough to pay a hooker anymore, and we're friends again, and friends help friends when they need a hand."
"This is completely crazy and out of line."
"And your dick is even harder than mine. Ergo, you want this, which is why I asked. Because I'm nice. Let's make a deal, with one hand you do me, with the other you touch yourself."
"Uh… I…"
"Of course I want the left hand. You probably will make a mess with the right. Although some head wouldn't come amiss, either. Not that I went without in jail, mind you. There's always plenty of free blowjob offers for us ten-inchers."
"House…"
"Would that be a precum stain? See, Wilson, you better take off your slacks now, or you'll be too embarrassed to bring them to dry cleaning and will end up burning them."
"You are pranking me. This is a joke."
"Absolutely not. I wouldn't prank you on anything so serious. Well, I would, but I'm not doing it now. See? I'm hard too. You can check the inches by yourself."
"Uh."
"Satisfied? Ten inches and spare change. Now get to work. The best would be if you take that pillow from the couch, put it on the floor and kneel over it. No, not like that, a bit more to the right. Perfect. This way you can use your mouth to work my cock and keep your hands for yourself. And now hurry up, my feet are starting to burn."
"House, there's something I need to tell you before we do this."
"If it isn't about an STD in your mouth it can wait. Come here, I'll use my hands to guide you. See, not too difficult. Half in… two thirds… no, don't gag now, pretend you're swallowing… see there! It's all in! God, this is so hot. We should make a movie and sell it."
____
"House?"
"(sigh)… yes, anything I can do for you? No repeat performance though, I'm tired now. But we can do it tomorrow."
"You suggested the red shoes to Adams, didn't you?"
"Yep. Next trivial question?"
"I wanted to say that I… I love you. Can I…"
"I knew it, of course. Me too, end of the Hallmark moment. You can kiss me, but only after you've brushed your teeth and gurgled with the mouthwash you'll find in the first desk drawer. I'm not squeamish, but it's always bitter when I drink too much coffee."
deelaundry's wonderful idea. Then cuddyclothes' masterpiece came out, so I didn't know what to do. But then I decided there's never enough h/w porn in the world. Many thanks to menolly_au for providing encouragement and support.Summary. Another improper use of the red shoes. Post-ep for 8.03, hence minor spoilers.
Warning. Adult material. Smuff (smut+fluff, but mostly smut). Dialog only.
Word Count: about 600.
"House, why did you page me? Uh, what are you doing?"
"Ssh… don't distract me. I'm almost there… dang! I can't fit my right foot. My left I managed, but the right won't go. Could you help?"
"Whose shoes are these?"
"Adams gave them to Park but she doesn't want them. I thought I might try them on. Now can you help me? I'm a cripple, you know."
"Okay. Push now, I'm holding it for you. There you go. Eeek, what's that?"
"Lube, you moron. I don't want to scar my feet."
"You'll hurt your feet at the first step. It's the worst I've seen since a diagram on feet-binding in my orthopedics book."
"Don't worry, I don't plan to walk. I just find my legs look better this way. Don't you? Or should I have used briefs instead of boxers?"
"I… uh… I guess you're good. If you keep your feet on the desk like that you shouldn't get damages. At least not for the first half an hour."
"Oh, I plan to be done much earlier than that! Now masturbate me, please."
"Now WHAT?"
"Are you having hearing problems? Get your ears washed, and if it persists I can run a differential with the full Charlie's Angels, I'm sure Thirteen will be happy to come back for you. Anyway I said masturbate me, and I even added please. Come on, it doesn't have to take all night."
"Why should I?"
"Because I can't. To keep comfortable in this position I need my hands behind my neck. Plus, it's much more relaxing. But I don't earn enough to pay a hooker anymore, and we're friends again, and friends help friends when they need a hand."
"This is completely crazy and out of line."
"And your dick is even harder than mine. Ergo, you want this, which is why I asked. Because I'm nice. Let's make a deal, with one hand you do me, with the other you touch yourself."
"Uh… I…"
"Of course I want the left hand. You probably will make a mess with the right. Although some head wouldn't come amiss, either. Not that I went without in jail, mind you. There's always plenty of free blowjob offers for us ten-inchers."
"House…"
"Would that be a precum stain? See, Wilson, you better take off your slacks now, or you'll be too embarrassed to bring them to dry cleaning and will end up burning them."
"You are pranking me. This is a joke."
"Absolutely not. I wouldn't prank you on anything so serious. Well, I would, but I'm not doing it now. See? I'm hard too. You can check the inches by yourself."
"Uh."
"Satisfied? Ten inches and spare change. Now get to work. The best would be if you take that pillow from the couch, put it on the floor and kneel over it. No, not like that, a bit more to the right. Perfect. This way you can use your mouth to work my cock and keep your hands for yourself. And now hurry up, my feet are starting to burn."
"House, there's something I need to tell you before we do this."
"If it isn't about an STD in your mouth it can wait. Come here, I'll use my hands to guide you. See, not too difficult. Half in… two thirds… no, don't gag now, pretend you're swallowing… see there! It's all in! God, this is so hot. We should make a movie and sell it."
____
"House?"
"(sigh)… yes, anything I can do for you? No repeat performance though, I'm tired now. But we can do it tomorrow."
"You suggested the red shoes to Adams, didn't you?"
"Yep. Next trivial question?"
"I wanted to say that I… I love you. Can I…"
"I knew it, of course. Me too, end of the Hallmark moment. You can kiss me, but only after you've brushed your teeth and gurgled with the mouthwash you'll find in the first desk drawer. I'm not squeamish, but it's always bitter when I drink too much coffee."
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no subject
Date: 2011-10-20 07:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-20 07:36 pm (UTC)Thank you for your kind comment, glad you liked it! [Great icon, too].
no subject
Date: 2011-10-20 08:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 03:16 pm (UTC)[OT God, how I love that icon of yours.]
no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 05:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-20 07:35 pm (UTC)Awesome story, funny and hot! Thanks for sharing!
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Date: 2011-10-20 07:38 pm (UTC)Glad it made you happy!
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Date: 2011-10-20 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-20 07:39 pm (UTC)OT, but in topic of great ideas: did you see the cheerleaders? It's your idea of dressing up Wilson in a cheerleading outfit with no underpants, except House heard about it and, well, couldn't really resist.
no subject
Date: 2011-10-20 08:48 pm (UTC)(plays "Groove Is In The Heart")
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Date: 2011-10-21 05:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-20 08:22 pm (UTC)"I knew it, of course. Me too, end of the Hallmark moment.
Hee - poor Wilson, he's trying to make a declaration of his deep love got House and House is spoiling his moment (but also providing him with what he needs to know:)
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Date: 2011-10-21 05:52 am (UTC)(sorry, it's always the worst part of me that comes out when I write porn).
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Date: 2011-10-20 08:52 pm (UTC)OMG this was awesome!!!!!!!!!
And this line:"There's always plenty of free blowjob offers for us ten-inchers." PRICELESS!! <3
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Date: 2011-10-21 05:54 am (UTC)Thanks for liking it and, well, House has longer legs than most, wouldn't it correspond to length elsewhere too? (innocent smile)
Thank you for a lovely comment!
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Date: 2011-10-20 10:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 05:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 12:53 am (UTC)I love it!!!
You can never have tooooooooo much porn!!!
Great Job!
no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 05:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 11:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 03:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 05:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-21 09:04 pm (UTC)I have even stopped double posting on ff except in extreme cases.
This seemed a little bit too silly anyway :) but I can do it (and look, I did post the last one on house_fic!).
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Date: 2011-10-22 01:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-22 04:19 pm (UTC)Thank you so much for the kind comment.
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Date: 2011-10-23 02:55 am (UTC)". . . But I don't earn enough to pay a hooker anymore, and we're friends again, and friends help friends when they need a hand.".
no subject
Date: 2011-10-23 01:37 pm (UTC)Thank you!