Saving Money

[damigella]

Summary: Takes place when Wilson is living in a hotel after divorcing Julie: House accompanies him to visit a summer camp for cancer patients. Written to fill one of my kink_bingo squares as well as flywoman's Camp Sick!Wilson Challenge: Child's Play.
Word Count: ~1300.
Rating: NC-17 for the theme.
Warning: Kink. No porn. Very mild schmoop :).
Note: If you need a visual aid you can click here (very NSFW - adults only) but I suggest you wait until after reading the fic. 
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the House, MD characters, which is good because I tend to kill them.

"Remind me how you talked me into this."

Wilson sighed, exasperated, as he parked the car. "Because Dr. Lee called me one hour ago to say she's in the ER with a broken wrist. Don't back out now, please."

House let himself out of the car and scowled. "I won't. But this stays a secret between us and you owe me one."

"Whatever, House. Now just behave yourself, okay?"

Wilson wasn't really worried, he knew House secretly had a soft spot for his children "baldies". And this camp the Cancer Society had organized for kids who most likely would never reach driving age was a fantastic idea, and he was proud to have been asked to deliver the medals - every one of the twenty-six participants was getting one, each for a different, carefully concocted reason, but ultimately just to reward the courage with which they faced a difficult life.

He smiled as he greeted the camp director. "This is Dr. House, the Head of Diagnostics, who has kindly agreed to play the piano for the children's choir today."

The elderly lady with the hair looking like whipped cream smiled enthusiastically at the somewhat somber-looking new face; she felt he needed cheering up. "Thank you so much for doing this, Dr. House! Remember, it's not the quality of your playing that matters, just that you're doing it for the kids!"

Wilson had trouble stifling a laughter as he saw in House's eyes at least three different scathing replies, and then heard just a simple "Thank you, I'm glad to have the occasion to be of help."

*****

House yawned for maybe the thirtieth time that afternoon, sipped his Coke wishing there was alcohol in it, and looked at Wilson playing with the group of the healthiest kids (i.e., those able to walk and run). They had played dodgeball, and were now busy with a loud match of blind man's buff.

He looked at his watch: five fifty. Perfect. Wilson had promised they would leave at six. "Wilson! You shouldn't forget it's time for me to go!" he shouted, regretting that Wilson had prevented him from revealing to the organizing committee (a collection of very thankful middle-aged ladies) that his appointment was with his TV set and General Hospital.

Wilson turned around and shouted back "I'm coming!" and therefore didn't see the boy running backwards smack into him. House was surprised to see his friend falling to the ground, first whimpering, then crying and shouting for help. The child couldn't have been more then 50 pounds, very likely less, how could he have hurt a grown-up man? Especially as the boy himself looked unscathed, and as puzzled as House at Wilson's reaction.

Wilson managed to stand up and he walked with wobbly steps to the small infirmary, gesturing for House to join him, and sending away all the curious children, parents, and organizers. "It's nothing, really, but I need Dr. House to inject me with medication and I'd rather have some privacy for that."

House closed the door behind him. "What happened?"

Wilson was obviously very much in pain, but he wasn't pale anymore. Actually he went very red in his face, as he unzipped and removed his slacks. "House, please don't make fun of me. Just help me. It hurts so much I might faint."

Wilson removed his underwear and House felt his eyes might get out of his head. Who knew Wilson was that kinky? Still, something was obviously wrong: the left testicle was swollen and blue, and it looked like the penis was in distress as well, although that was harder to say.

Wilson was bent in two with pain. "The kid ran smack into it and it moved in a very wrong position - and the key is at home! Cut it open, House!"

House realized that this was not the moment to ask useless questions, if he wanted Wilson's genitals to remain symmetric in the future. "Spread your legs wide open and don't move."

He fumbled around until he found surgery scissors, and soon Wilson was free - his penis had indeed a bluish hue, as well.

"Thank you so much, House. Oh God, it still hurts like hell, but it's much better."

"Maybe I will get an explanation now?"

Wilson hissed as his underpants touched his genitals, but then managed to wear his slacks again. "Later. In the car, or at home. You'll have to drive, I think. Let's go."

House silently handed Wilson a couple of painkillers and a glass of water, and then they left the infirmary.

"My dear ladies, Dr. Wilson is fine but I want to drive him to he hospital to run a couple of tests. The impact has affected an old injury site of his. I hope you don't mind if we leave in a hurry."

*****
The short drive had been silent; Wilson hardly noticed it, lost in his hope that the painkillers would start working soon. Finally they made into House's flat, and Wilson immediately removed his lower body clothing and sat on the couch, his feet on the coffee table, gratefully accepting the bag of frozen peas House had gotten for him.

"Are the painkillers kicking in yet?"

The sweat on his forehead was getting cold. "Yes. I went down from a nine to a four, I'd say."

"So, how about my explanations?"

Wilson sighed. "You mean, why was I wearing a chastity device?"

"Yep, with silicon spikes inside. Do you have a new kinky girlfriend, who will give you a piercing for a wedding ring?"

Wilson sighed deeper. This was going to be so embarrassing. "I'm not in a relationship right now. I am just doing what you often do… hiring a professional."

"I see. When is she coming over?"

"We… we only interact on the phone. It's cheaper. I have to pay for three wives now, and I'm still paying my last divorce proceedings."

"Oh, so you have phone sex with a domina. Wonderful. Can I listen in? When is she calling?"

"House, this is… private, you know. No, I guess you don't know."

House laughed. "Don't worry, I won't say anything. I'm just curious." He grabbed Wilson's phone out of his discarded trousers and put it in his own pocket, than switched the TV on while sitting down on the couch.

*****

The phone rang at 7.30 sharp. House switched off the TV and switched the speakerphone on, holding it so that Wilson could talk.

"Hello, here Wilson."

"Wilson? Have you been a good boy today?"

"There was an accident, and I had to remove the punisher. I'm sorry."

"You sure it wasn't your fault?"

"No, it wasn't. Really."

"Are you still in pain?"

"Not so much. But the punisher is unusable, and I can't go back to my hotel tonight."

"Too bad. I guess we'll have to postpone to Tuesday the session I had planned for tonight. Make sure you're well stocked with lube, and I'll call again at the usual time."

"Thank you so much."

House terminated the phone call and looked at Wilson, the blue eyes wide with understanding. Wilson sank his head in shame.

"You didn't hire a domina. You hired a dom."

Wilson didn't look up, or answer.

"One that calls you Wilson, like I do. And whose voice sounds a lot like mine."

Wilson felt his cheeks go crimson. "I… I had never meant you to find out, House. I'm so sorry. I hope we can still be friends."

He dropped his head in his hands. "God, I sound like a girl, don't I? Ouch!"

The scream was due to his elbow accidentally bumping the frozen peas, now not frozen anymore.

"Wilson. Look at me." Wilson did so, surprised. Neither the tone nor the face seemed full of mockery or, worse, disgust.

He felt House's right hand gently close around his left. "Maybe I can help you save you some money, you know."