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Watch Out
Summary: Post-ep for 7x23 minus the beach, written to fill one of my kink_bingo squares.
Word Count: ~900.
Rating: R.
Warning: Porn.
Note: It's all the fault of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
menolly_au.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the House, MD characters, which is good because I tend to kill them.
"Good evening, House."
"Are you kidding me? I'm lying in a psychiatry bed, dressed only in a straightjacket!"
"Be grateful you aren't in prison. Luckily, three different doctors diagnosed you with drug-induced psychotic behavior. Apparently they had put you on a painkiller that doesn't react well with codeine as part of your post-op treatment."
"Morons. So when do I get free again?"
"Tomorrow morning. You know how the hospital protocol is. And thanks for asking me how my wrist is."
"Well, by the fact you're wearing a rigid bandage but not a cast I assume it's just badly sprained. Boring."
"Are you bored, House?"
"Of course! I can't play, there's no TV! I would even read a medical journal if I had one!"
"Maybe I can fix that. Luckily there's not so much personnel around in the night - I told the night nurse I'd be staying and she's gone to grab a nap, allegedly."
"Allegedly?"
"Maybe Foreman is trying to catch up with his roommate as far as offspring goes."
"Oh. So that would be the blond one with the large tits and the sagging ass."
"Yes, Fiona. So, do you want me to relieve your boredom?"
"Find my cellphone and call Malina or Beverly. Better yet, call them both. Use your credit card - they're both expensive, and mention it if you want to watch because it costs extra."
"I don't think a cellphone will be needed, unless we want pictures. Actually…"
"Wilson. Wilson, what are you doing? Pull the blanket up again. And… uh…"
"I think you should be happy to get rid of the catheter? Just let me know when you need to pee."
"Uh. Sorry. I thought I had… misinterpreted. Thanks, I hate that."
"It's nothing."
"Wilson, you can cover me now. And stop petting me, I'm not sore."
"Let me see. You really want me to stop in the sense that you want me to keep my hands off, or in the sense that it's not my hands you want?"
"No… yes… no… Wilson... uh... oh... I think you should... oh... no... yes... Wilson, what if someone comes in? What if we're heard? Shouldn't we at least... aaahhhh... cover up?"
"You shouldn't ask me questions, you know it's bad manners to talk when one's mouth is full. No one will come in. And you don't need a blanket, it's hot in here."
"What… what are you doing?"
"Undressing. It's not everyday I get the man I've pined after for a decade and a half naked, bound and offered to me on a silver tray. Well, more a hospital bed, but I can't be too picky."
"Wilson, are you mad?"
"No, I'm just in love. You, on the other hand, have been certified to be suicidal, which is why I'm not allowed to remove the straightjacket. Not that I would want to, of course."
"You… you got a hard-on out of seeing me naked?"
"Look who's talking! And you?"
"You were giving me a blow-job!"
"That's why you got a hard-on?"
"Yes, of course."
"Funny. Me, too."
"That wouldn't be lube?"
"What did you want, mayonnaise? Of course it's lube!"
"Wilson, you can't… you can't just fuck me in the ass. Oh… oh… how many fingers was that? OH."
"That was just two fingers, and I would fuck you in the mouth too but I'm afraid you'll gag. Also, your asshole is enticing and… ah… aahh… so tight and warm. Aaaahhhh."
"You… you…"
"I… House, I may …. not be able to have a much longer conversation… uh… do you… want me to stop? Aahhnnn."
"No… no… don't stop, no… Christ, I so want to touch you… mmmmhhhhh…."
*****
"I hate this job. So boring."
"Mmmhh. Aahh."
"Have you brought a new porn movie, Jack? I hope one with less plot than the previous one!"
"Dan, come over here. You don't want to miss that."
"Oh God, Jack… you're jerking off at porn during work hours? But… that's not porn!"
"Nope. It's the surveillance camera in Room 314."
"Should we… do something?"
*****
"Wilson… you can't leave me like that… do something! Wake up damn it!"
"I'm not asleep House, just catching my breath."
"Well, you better jack me off or I'll die of blue balls."
"I have a better idea, I think."
"Wilson… don't you need …uhn… preparation or… something?"
"I've been ready and raring to go for more than a decade. I…ah… just need to go… eh… sloooowly."
"Ah… ah… you're tight… and hot… mmmhhhh…"
*****
"This time the vision's better."
"Definitely. I wish they'd stop kissing though, or we might miss the chance to climax with them."
"I think it's the first time I do this to live action."
"I know. And it's even for free."
"Better. We're paid for doing this."
"Shut up. I think it's time."
*****
"Wilson, that was… amazing."
"Yes."
"So, should I assume that I'm moving back to the condo soon?"
"As soon as they let you out. And you won't need a separate bedroom, I hope."
"I don't think so. Wilson, is it true that you… you love me?"
"Yes. And I have for a long time."
"Wish I had known. I could have avoided the Cuddy disaster."
"And Sam. Let's not forget Sam."
"Arlene."
"Don't say that name again. Ever."
"I won't. And… Wilson?"
"Yes?"
"Can you buy a straightjacket, or should we steal one of the hospital ones?"
Word Count: ~900.
Rating: R.
Warning: Porn.
Note: It's all the fault of
menolly_au.Disclaimer: I don't own any of the House, MD characters, which is good because I tend to kill them.
"Good evening, House."
"Are you kidding me? I'm lying in a psychiatry bed, dressed only in a straightjacket!"
"Be grateful you aren't in prison. Luckily, three different doctors diagnosed you with drug-induced psychotic behavior. Apparently they had put you on a painkiller that doesn't react well with codeine as part of your post-op treatment."
"Morons. So when do I get free again?"
"Tomorrow morning. You know how the hospital protocol is. And thanks for asking me how my wrist is."
"Well, by the fact you're wearing a rigid bandage but not a cast I assume it's just badly sprained. Boring."
"Are you bored, House?"
"Of course! I can't play, there's no TV! I would even read a medical journal if I had one!"
"Maybe I can fix that. Luckily there's not so much personnel around in the night - I told the night nurse I'd be staying and she's gone to grab a nap, allegedly."
"Allegedly?"
"Maybe Foreman is trying to catch up with his roommate as far as offspring goes."
"Oh. So that would be the blond one with the large tits and the sagging ass."
"Yes, Fiona. So, do you want me to relieve your boredom?"
"Find my cellphone and call Malina or Beverly. Better yet, call them both. Use your credit card - they're both expensive, and mention it if you want to watch because it costs extra."
"I don't think a cellphone will be needed, unless we want pictures. Actually…"
"Wilson. Wilson, what are you doing? Pull the blanket up again. And… uh…"
"I think you should be happy to get rid of the catheter? Just let me know when you need to pee."
"Uh. Sorry. I thought I had… misinterpreted. Thanks, I hate that."
"It's nothing."
"Wilson, you can cover me now. And stop petting me, I'm not sore."
"Let me see. You really want me to stop in the sense that you want me to keep my hands off, or in the sense that it's not my hands you want?"
"No… yes… no… Wilson... uh... oh... I think you should... oh... no... yes... Wilson, what if someone comes in? What if we're heard? Shouldn't we at least... aaahhhh... cover up?"
"You shouldn't ask me questions, you know it's bad manners to talk when one's mouth is full. No one will come in. And you don't need a blanket, it's hot in here."
"What… what are you doing?"
"Undressing. It's not everyday I get the man I've pined after for a decade and a half naked, bound and offered to me on a silver tray. Well, more a hospital bed, but I can't be too picky."
"Wilson, are you mad?"
"No, I'm just in love. You, on the other hand, have been certified to be suicidal, which is why I'm not allowed to remove the straightjacket. Not that I would want to, of course."
"You… you got a hard-on out of seeing me naked?"
"Look who's talking! And you?"
"You were giving me a blow-job!"
"That's why you got a hard-on?"
"Yes, of course."
"Funny. Me, too."
"That wouldn't be lube?"
"What did you want, mayonnaise? Of course it's lube!"
"Wilson, you can't… you can't just fuck me in the ass. Oh… oh… how many fingers was that? OH."
"That was just two fingers, and I would fuck you in the mouth too but I'm afraid you'll gag. Also, your asshole is enticing and… ah… aahh… so tight and warm. Aaaahhhh."
"You… you…"
"I… House, I may …. not be able to have a much longer conversation… uh… do you… want me to stop? Aahhnnn."
"No… no… don't stop, no… Christ, I so want to touch you… mmmmhhhhh…."
*****
"I hate this job. So boring."
"Mmmhh. Aahh."
"Have you brought a new porn movie, Jack? I hope one with less plot than the previous one!"
"Dan, come over here. You don't want to miss that."
"Oh God, Jack… you're jerking off at porn during work hours? But… that's not porn!"
"Nope. It's the surveillance camera in Room 314."
"Should we… do something?"
*****
"Wilson… you can't leave me like that… do something! Wake up damn it!"
"I'm not asleep House, just catching my breath."
"Well, you better jack me off or I'll die of blue balls."
"I have a better idea, I think."
"Wilson… don't you need …uhn… preparation or… something?"
"I've been ready and raring to go for more than a decade. I…ah… just need to go… eh… sloooowly."
"Ah… ah… you're tight… and hot… mmmhhhh…"
*****
"This time the vision's better."
"Definitely. I wish they'd stop kissing though, or we might miss the chance to climax with them."
"I think it's the first time I do this to live action."
"I know. And it's even for free."
"Better. We're paid for doing this."
"Shut up. I think it's time."
*****
"Wilson, that was… amazing."
"Yes."
"So, should I assume that I'm moving back to the condo soon?"
"As soon as they let you out. And you won't need a separate bedroom, I hope."
"I don't think so. Wilson, is it true that you… you love me?"
"Yes. And I have for a long time."
"Wish I had known. I could have avoided the Cuddy disaster."
"And Sam. Let's not forget Sam."
"Arlene."
"Don't say that name again. Ever."
"I won't. And… Wilson?"
"Yes?"
"Can you buy a straightjacket, or should we steal one of the hospital ones?"