The Truth, 4/9
Mar. 2nd, 2011 08:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
damigellaTitle: The Truth 4/9
Author: damigella
Spoilers: Fic starts at the end of S7E8 then goes AU
Warning: Slash, eventually. Adult themes.
Rating: NC-17 (M)
Word count: 2200 approx.
Disclaimer: don't own anything, except my hope.
Summary: Second person, Wilson's POV.
Author's note: This started appearing as non beta'ed on fanfiction. Any merit you find in this is due to my totally awesome beta reader![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
yarroway . It is now complete.
Topaz is a reference to DTWOF, for which I would happily write fanfics... if fanfiction had it in its list.
Back to Chapter 3
"So how were this week's sessions, James?"
"Useful, Dr. Lassiter. I'm really feeling good about this. I hadn't realized I was carrying so much baggage, and I sure feel lighter without it."
"Great. Do you feel ready for a first, concrete change?"
"Sure. What do you think? Go to a gay bar?"
"Actually, I had in mind something a bit closer to home."
As you listen you can't believe your ears. But he finally talks you into trying.
*******
You look through the window - a canoe with two men in it is gliding on the river. They paddle lazily, going with the flow. The sun makes the water around the canoe shine in so many different colors.
"That was good." House puts down his cutlery on his empty dish.
"Indeed. It's nice to be out of the cafeteria."
"It was also a long time since we had lunch together. I've been so busy with Cuddy and the brat lately." House sounds almost apologetic.
"I've been pretty busy with therapy too, but now it's more or less finished. I'm down to once a week." So good to be with him again. You arranged this for today since Cuddy was busy with her yearly physical.
The waiter brings coffee and dessert. House takes a spoonful of his panna cotta followed by a forkful of your cheesecake.
"Mmmm. So good. So you wanted to tell me about the highlights of therapy, just to gloat that your therapist is so much sexier than mine."
You can't delay this any longer. "Not exactly. It's more like he gave me homework to do." You're nervous and hope House won't notice.
"With me?" More cheesecake. So far he seems just bored. Or, rather, politely pretending to be interested.
"Well, I was free to choose any close friend. It turns out it was not such an ample choice." This of course is not true. Dr. Lassiter told you to talk to House. "Anyway, the idea is that I've discovered, or maybe just accepted, a few facts about myself, and since they're kind of important he said I should be able to share them."
"Are they related to the fact you're paying triple alimonies?" House knows that therapy was for relationship problems, after all.
It's time to take a plunge in the cold water. "Dr Lassiter thinks so. I'm bisexual, House. And I didn't find out the pleasant way, namely by getting insanely drunk in a gay bar and having the time of my life, but by realizing that I have had sentimental and sexual feelings for you over a period of years. What I would ideally like is to have you as my spouse. It is clear that none of my ex wives was right for me, if Gregory House's the gold standard." You gasp for air, and wait for his reaction.
"And my knowing this is supposed to be useful how?" The tone of voice is still that of polite disinterest, but his eyes have stopped roaming the room and are focused on yours.
"I can't remember the details. Dr Lassiter mentioned something about honesty and truth, but I followed only partially his argument and I'm sure you would have found it boring. The good news is that I'm not supposed to expect or demand any reaction from you. You may comment of course, but you don't have to. As far as I'm concerned, the topic is exhausted and our friendship can continue unchanged." Yes, you think. That's the correct end note. The word unchanged. No need to talk about this again. House looks pleased, too.
"So you told me this because the doctor told you to." He's looking back to the tablecloth. Apparently wants to be reassured it wasn't his best friend who decided to make him a love declaration.
"Yes. And because it's the truth. I'm such a good boy. Mommy's pride." You smile. It's over.
House opens his mouth to reply when your pager starts beeping.
"Sorry House, they need me in Radiology. It's not an emergency but it's urgent. I'll pay and meet you at the car." House seems almost relieved as he puts on his jacket and starts limping towards the parking lot.
As you pay, you wonder what could be so urgent as to page you, since they know that your lunch break will be over soon. Than you think of something, and you hope you're wrong. You forcefully remove the thought from your consciousness, as you sit in the car near your friend.
House has shown no sign of derision, nor does he looks upset; Dr Lassiter guessed his reaction better than you did. You both remain silent as you drive back to the hospital.
*********
The pager beeping meant exactly what you thought, unfortunately. You feel nervous as you enter Cuddy's office two hours later, a thick blue folder in your hand. She's sitting behind her desk, House is in a visitor's chair, twirling his cane. They both look at you in a puzzled way.
You're experienced at giving bad news, but you never like it. "There's something I need to tell you."
House looks confused. "Is this the same we discussed at lunch?"
"Unfortunately, no. It concerns Cuddy, and you as her boyfriend. Cuddy, you have Hodgkin's lymphoma. It's an early stage so it would have an excellent chance of complete remission, but we need to discuss treatment options, and I thought House would want to be involved."
You hand him the file, which he starts going through as you resume speaking. This maybe doesn't follow patient confidentiality rules, but you're sure that House would have stolen Cuddy's file anyway.
Cuddy looks not so much worried as already planning. "Excellent means what? And how much time will I be unable to run the hospital during chemo and radiation?"
"Excellent means better than 95%, when one takes all variables into consideration. You will need chemotherapy, and this means you will have to find someone to replace you for many weeks - both at work and in Rachel's care. However, what you really need to choose soon is an oncologist. Ideally you should choose before this week is over." You're afraid she will ask you. You shouldn't be treating House's girlfriend. But you can't say that, either.
"Wilson, I promoted you to Head of Oncology because I trust you. It's a simple choice."
House lifts his head from the file: "Wait, Cuddy. Wouldn't it be better to go to a specialized cancer center? I mean, Wilson's fine, but... it's you. It's important."
"Believe me House, it's important to me as well. But what would people say if the Dean of Princeton Plainsboro chose not to trust her own Oncology Department in a completely routine case?"
House is stubborn. "Specialized Centers have better personnel."
"House, I know what I'm doing. Plus, if Wilson is not working in the nation's top cancer center it's not because he didn't receive an offer there. Wilson, could you please explain this to him?"
You feel your cheeks turning crimson. You received the letters at home, and put them in the home shredder. They arranged one meeting in person in an elegant restaurant in a luxury hotel 30 miles away, trying to lure you away. "How do you even know about their offer?"
"Offers, Wilson, plural. Three of them, of increasing generosity." She smiles with obvious satisfaction at knowing your secret. And maybe also at how good her Head Oncologist is. You sneak a look at House, and you immediately turn away your eyes: he's intensely looking at you, wondering whether you can possibly be as good as such an offer implies.
Cuddy finally reveals her source. "I met their Dean at a reception a few days after you finally convinced him not to ask again. He told me I must have offered you high quality sexual favors, since there was no way our budget would have allowed me to match their offer."
You gasp at the same time as House does, but you're the first one to speak. "High quality what?"
Cuddy looks smug. "I think the precise term he used was tittyfucks. He was quite drunk and very angry. By the way, congratulations for the offers and thanks for staying at Princeton-Plainsboro, Wilson. Feel free to consult every competent expert you think appropriate and House, but you are my oncologist."
*******
"I sure wish you could still be having lunch with Cuddy. But apart from that, it's nice to have you here eating my fries again." House smiles at you from the other side of your usual table while he carefully dips two fries in ketchup and eats them.
"It appears I'll have to share Cuddy's scarce free time with her family in the near future: Cuddy's sister moved in during the weekend." A pause, as his hand dips into your plate again. "With her husband and their six year old daughter. I thought one child was noisy, but that's nothing as compared to two children."
"How long is she staying?"
"Until the end of the final round of chemo. No precise deadline has been fixed. Some months." House sounds definitely irritated.
"That must make it crowded, right?"
"Cuddy had me move out last Friday. I never properly moved in with her to begin with, and now she needs room and able-blodied people who can help."
"It's only temporary. You know as much as I do that her chances are excellent." You don't even want to start thinking what would happen if Cuddy's case ends up in the less than five per cent that don't make it.
"I know. Still, it was weird being alone in my apartment."
You hope that you understood the meaning. House would never ask you to invite him. "Want to come have dinner at my place tonight? It's been an awfully long time, but I think I still remember how to cook boeuf bourguignon."
"Add beer and we'll see each other at 6."
"You can come then and there will be wine, but dinner won't be ready until 8. It's a slow recipe." You are ashamed of feeling happy about this conversation and its conclusion.
********
"That was good." House relaxes with a satisfied burp on your couch and starts looking for the remote.
"Yes. It's like the good old times. Lunch together every day, and that's the third time you had dinner here this week - and it's only Friday. Too bad I'll have to work the whole weekend to cover up for Cuddy."
"I'm sure happy that I'm not part of the team of Heads replacing her. Who is it anyway? You and Kilmer from Pediatrics and Donovan from Cardiology?" House is still clicking his way through the channels, trying to find something interesting.
"Yes. The unlucky ones. We're just helping the guy she hired as a temporary replacement for herself and it's killing me. I don't know how she manages, but this hospital needs her back to health as much as you and Rachel do. How's Cuddy doing? Do you find any time where you can be together?"
The television is switched on mute, the remote left lying on the couch. House closes his eyes briefly, as if in thought, then opens them again."Well, she's still micromanaging it all. She changed her niece's eating habits, and is now trying to get her sister to change her school as well. Very much her usual self, except with no makeup or hair. Tete-a-tete time on the other hand is very limited. She's very tired and sleeps more than she used to."
The blue eyes turn to look directly into yours. "Wilson, I was wondering whether I could move in with you again. "
"What?" You look at him in disbelief. He knows what he knows and he wants to move in again. Denial? What's going on?
"It's actually Cuddy's idea." He doesn't look at you anymore. "She says that I shouldn't be alone right now. I almost misdiagnosed my patient today because I slept so poorly the whole week. I spend the nights drinking and watching tv series reruns. She thinks you would take care of me better than I take care of myself."
"And what do you think? Maybe this is a good occasion to start thinking for yourself." You have only seconds to worry whether this was too nasty a statement. House doesn't even seem to notice it could be viewed as an insult.
For once, House seems to share your worries. "I'm not sure. Normally I would find it a very good idea - I might even have suggested it myself. But after what you told me... I'm not sure it's the right thing to do."
"You didn't tell her, right?"
"No. I figured out it was meant to be private. I actually tried not to think about it." House is torn. He clearly would prefer to move in, especially since this is what Cuddy wants. He looks at you, hoping that you'll help him with this.
You smile, and try hard to sound calm and relaxed. "Well, at least you can be sure I'll be happy to have you around. Move in again whenever you want. And I'll promise to behave like a gentleman: the change is in what I and you know, not in what we do."
Chapter 5
Author: damigella
Spoilers: Fic starts at the end of S7E8 then goes AU
Warning: Slash, eventually. Adult themes.
Rating: NC-17 (M)
Word count: 2200 approx.
Disclaimer: don't own anything, except my hope.
Summary: Second person, Wilson's POV.
Author's note: This started appearing as non beta'ed on fanfiction. Any merit you find in this is due to my totally awesome beta reader
yarroway . It is now complete. Topaz is a reference to DTWOF, for which I would happily write fanfics... if fanfiction had it in its list.
Back to Chapter 3
"So how were this week's sessions, James?"
"Useful, Dr. Lassiter. I'm really feeling good about this. I hadn't realized I was carrying so much baggage, and I sure feel lighter without it."
"Great. Do you feel ready for a first, concrete change?"
"Sure. What do you think? Go to a gay bar?"
"Actually, I had in mind something a bit closer to home."
As you listen you can't believe your ears. But he finally talks you into trying.
*******
You look through the window - a canoe with two men in it is gliding on the river. They paddle lazily, going with the flow. The sun makes the water around the canoe shine in so many different colors.
"That was good." House puts down his cutlery on his empty dish.
"Indeed. It's nice to be out of the cafeteria."
"It was also a long time since we had lunch together. I've been so busy with Cuddy and the brat lately." House sounds almost apologetic.
"I've been pretty busy with therapy too, but now it's more or less finished. I'm down to once a week." So good to be with him again. You arranged this for today since Cuddy was busy with her yearly physical.
The waiter brings coffee and dessert. House takes a spoonful of his panna cotta followed by a forkful of your cheesecake.
"Mmmm. So good. So you wanted to tell me about the highlights of therapy, just to gloat that your therapist is so much sexier than mine."
You can't delay this any longer. "Not exactly. It's more like he gave me homework to do." You're nervous and hope House won't notice.
"With me?" More cheesecake. So far he seems just bored. Or, rather, politely pretending to be interested.
"Well, I was free to choose any close friend. It turns out it was not such an ample choice." This of course is not true. Dr. Lassiter told you to talk to House. "Anyway, the idea is that I've discovered, or maybe just accepted, a few facts about myself, and since they're kind of important he said I should be able to share them."
"Are they related to the fact you're paying triple alimonies?" House knows that therapy was for relationship problems, after all.
It's time to take a plunge in the cold water. "Dr Lassiter thinks so. I'm bisexual, House. And I didn't find out the pleasant way, namely by getting insanely drunk in a gay bar and having the time of my life, but by realizing that I have had sentimental and sexual feelings for you over a period of years. What I would ideally like is to have you as my spouse. It is clear that none of my ex wives was right for me, if Gregory House's the gold standard." You gasp for air, and wait for his reaction.
"And my knowing this is supposed to be useful how?" The tone of voice is still that of polite disinterest, but his eyes have stopped roaming the room and are focused on yours.
"I can't remember the details. Dr Lassiter mentioned something about honesty and truth, but I followed only partially his argument and I'm sure you would have found it boring. The good news is that I'm not supposed to expect or demand any reaction from you. You may comment of course, but you don't have to. As far as I'm concerned, the topic is exhausted and our friendship can continue unchanged." Yes, you think. That's the correct end note. The word unchanged. No need to talk about this again. House looks pleased, too.
"So you told me this because the doctor told you to." He's looking back to the tablecloth. Apparently wants to be reassured it wasn't his best friend who decided to make him a love declaration.
"Yes. And because it's the truth. I'm such a good boy. Mommy's pride." You smile. It's over.
House opens his mouth to reply when your pager starts beeping.
"Sorry House, they need me in Radiology. It's not an emergency but it's urgent. I'll pay and meet you at the car." House seems almost relieved as he puts on his jacket and starts limping towards the parking lot.
As you pay, you wonder what could be so urgent as to page you, since they know that your lunch break will be over soon. Than you think of something, and you hope you're wrong. You forcefully remove the thought from your consciousness, as you sit in the car near your friend.
House has shown no sign of derision, nor does he looks upset; Dr Lassiter guessed his reaction better than you did. You both remain silent as you drive back to the hospital.
*********
The pager beeping meant exactly what you thought, unfortunately. You feel nervous as you enter Cuddy's office two hours later, a thick blue folder in your hand. She's sitting behind her desk, House is in a visitor's chair, twirling his cane. They both look at you in a puzzled way.
You're experienced at giving bad news, but you never like it. "There's something I need to tell you."
House looks confused. "Is this the same we discussed at lunch?"
"Unfortunately, no. It concerns Cuddy, and you as her boyfriend. Cuddy, you have Hodgkin's lymphoma. It's an early stage so it would have an excellent chance of complete remission, but we need to discuss treatment options, and I thought House would want to be involved."
You hand him the file, which he starts going through as you resume speaking. This maybe doesn't follow patient confidentiality rules, but you're sure that House would have stolen Cuddy's file anyway.
Cuddy looks not so much worried as already planning. "Excellent means what? And how much time will I be unable to run the hospital during chemo and radiation?"
"Excellent means better than 95%, when one takes all variables into consideration. You will need chemotherapy, and this means you will have to find someone to replace you for many weeks - both at work and in Rachel's care. However, what you really need to choose soon is an oncologist. Ideally you should choose before this week is over." You're afraid she will ask you. You shouldn't be treating House's girlfriend. But you can't say that, either.
"Wilson, I promoted you to Head of Oncology because I trust you. It's a simple choice."
House lifts his head from the file: "Wait, Cuddy. Wouldn't it be better to go to a specialized cancer center? I mean, Wilson's fine, but... it's you. It's important."
"Believe me House, it's important to me as well. But what would people say if the Dean of Princeton Plainsboro chose not to trust her own Oncology Department in a completely routine case?"
House is stubborn. "Specialized Centers have better personnel."
"House, I know what I'm doing. Plus, if Wilson is not working in the nation's top cancer center it's not because he didn't receive an offer there. Wilson, could you please explain this to him?"
You feel your cheeks turning crimson. You received the letters at home, and put them in the home shredder. They arranged one meeting in person in an elegant restaurant in a luxury hotel 30 miles away, trying to lure you away. "How do you even know about their offer?"
"Offers, Wilson, plural. Three of them, of increasing generosity." She smiles with obvious satisfaction at knowing your secret. And maybe also at how good her Head Oncologist is. You sneak a look at House, and you immediately turn away your eyes: he's intensely looking at you, wondering whether you can possibly be as good as such an offer implies.
Cuddy finally reveals her source. "I met their Dean at a reception a few days after you finally convinced him not to ask again. He told me I must have offered you high quality sexual favors, since there was no way our budget would have allowed me to match their offer."
You gasp at the same time as House does, but you're the first one to speak. "High quality what?"
Cuddy looks smug. "I think the precise term he used was tittyfucks. He was quite drunk and very angry. By the way, congratulations for the offers and thanks for staying at Princeton-Plainsboro, Wilson. Feel free to consult every competent expert you think appropriate and House, but you are my oncologist."
*******
"I sure wish you could still be having lunch with Cuddy. But apart from that, it's nice to have you here eating my fries again." House smiles at you from the other side of your usual table while he carefully dips two fries in ketchup and eats them.
"It appears I'll have to share Cuddy's scarce free time with her family in the near future: Cuddy's sister moved in during the weekend." A pause, as his hand dips into your plate again. "With her husband and their six year old daughter. I thought one child was noisy, but that's nothing as compared to two children."
"How long is she staying?"
"Until the end of the final round of chemo. No precise deadline has been fixed. Some months." House sounds definitely irritated.
"That must make it crowded, right?"
"Cuddy had me move out last Friday. I never properly moved in with her to begin with, and now she needs room and able-blodied people who can help."
"It's only temporary. You know as much as I do that her chances are excellent." You don't even want to start thinking what would happen if Cuddy's case ends up in the less than five per cent that don't make it.
"I know. Still, it was weird being alone in my apartment."
You hope that you understood the meaning. House would never ask you to invite him. "Want to come have dinner at my place tonight? It's been an awfully long time, but I think I still remember how to cook boeuf bourguignon."
"Add beer and we'll see each other at 6."
"You can come then and there will be wine, but dinner won't be ready until 8. It's a slow recipe." You are ashamed of feeling happy about this conversation and its conclusion.
********
"That was good." House relaxes with a satisfied burp on your couch and starts looking for the remote.
"Yes. It's like the good old times. Lunch together every day, and that's the third time you had dinner here this week - and it's only Friday. Too bad I'll have to work the whole weekend to cover up for Cuddy."
"I'm sure happy that I'm not part of the team of Heads replacing her. Who is it anyway? You and Kilmer from Pediatrics and Donovan from Cardiology?" House is still clicking his way through the channels, trying to find something interesting.
"Yes. The unlucky ones. We're just helping the guy she hired as a temporary replacement for herself and it's killing me. I don't know how she manages, but this hospital needs her back to health as much as you and Rachel do. How's Cuddy doing? Do you find any time where you can be together?"
The television is switched on mute, the remote left lying on the couch. House closes his eyes briefly, as if in thought, then opens them again."Well, she's still micromanaging it all. She changed her niece's eating habits, and is now trying to get her sister to change her school as well. Very much her usual self, except with no makeup or hair. Tete-a-tete time on the other hand is very limited. She's very tired and sleeps more than she used to."
The blue eyes turn to look directly into yours. "Wilson, I was wondering whether I could move in with you again. "
"What?" You look at him in disbelief. He knows what he knows and he wants to move in again. Denial? What's going on?
"It's actually Cuddy's idea." He doesn't look at you anymore. "She says that I shouldn't be alone right now. I almost misdiagnosed my patient today because I slept so poorly the whole week. I spend the nights drinking and watching tv series reruns. She thinks you would take care of me better than I take care of myself."
"And what do you think? Maybe this is a good occasion to start thinking for yourself." You have only seconds to worry whether this was too nasty a statement. House doesn't even seem to notice it could be viewed as an insult.
For once, House seems to share your worries. "I'm not sure. Normally I would find it a very good idea - I might even have suggested it myself. But after what you told me... I'm not sure it's the right thing to do."
"You didn't tell her, right?"
"No. I figured out it was meant to be private. I actually tried not to think about it." House is torn. He clearly would prefer to move in, especially since this is what Cuddy wants. He looks at you, hoping that you'll help him with this.
You smile, and try hard to sound calm and relaxed. "Well, at least you can be sure I'll be happy to have you around. Move in again whenever you want. And I'll promise to behave like a gentleman: the change is in what I and you know, not in what we do."
Chapter 5