damigella: (sad_thoughtful_wilson)
[personal profile] damigella
Drabble Prologue
Chapter 1, warnings, and stuff.
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

Chapter 6

House was speechless. He hadn't expected this at all. If he even knew what this was, which he didn't. And he had no time to think about it because Wilson went on speaking.

"I already proposed once, and I didn't mean it. This time I do, and I want you to think very carefully before you answer. Yes, I would like to marry you. Better said, to live with you indefinitely. The technical details aren't important."

House had no idea of what he could possibly answer, and gratefully accepted the only decorous way out short of faking a heart attack.

"I... I didn't expect this. I'll need time to think. Lots of time."

Wilson blushed a little. "You know, you just lost me twenty bucks."

"What do you mean?" House pulled his hand to himself, shivering with anger. "Was this a fucking joke?"

He calmed down instantly as Wilson's eyebrows shot up, and sorrow and honesty spread across his face together with a darker red.

"No, of course it wasn't a joke. But I had told my therapist that if I asked you to marry me you would either laugh, or punch me. She said you would do neither. I insisted, and she proposed a bet."

House breathed deeply. If this emotional seesaw continued he wouldn't need to fake a heart attack. He tried to pretend their relationship hadn't been changed irrevocably, or at least to delay as much as possible the decision he had to take.

"I should have gotten a cut in that bet. And I'll need to think for a very long time."

He could see relief as well as fear in Wilson's eyes. Of course he had been sincere.

"As much time as needed. Just promise you won't get angry at me, since I'm only following medical advice. They said I can't hope you to do what I want unless I tell you what it is."

"There's no arguing with that."

This was a serious proposal, and he would have to come up with a serious answer; a yes would have to be a long-term commitment. Something he had found incredibly hard to do, even when he and Stacy were deeply in love before the infarction. And now love wasn't part of the picture, on either side. Definitely not.

The silence lengthened as House tried to figure out what Wilson's request would imply. Finding another job, learning to work with new colleagues, selling his apartment. Getting used to a different location, maybe a different climate. Why was he even considering this? He must have gotten confused by Wilson asking such nonsense at all. Especially since there was, of course, one big question as yet unmentioned.

He may as well ask it openly, since he knew Wilson would be expecting it. Was expecting it, if he interpreted correctly the anxious expression on his face. The word unpleasant was a major understatement: he was terribly embarrassed. A simple three letter word, and he couldn't force himself to utter it, not with the huge brown eyes looking at him full of hope, for the first time since too long. He struggled for the right euphemism; what was even worse, he realized he had no idea what he wished Wilson's answer would be.

"When you say you would like to get married, do you imply also some sort of physical contact?"

Wilson lowered his eyes, looking sad and ashamed. He obviously had to make an effort to answer, and did so only slowly, struggling with every sentence and almost with every word.

"I'm damaged goods. The psychiatrist says I may never make it. Never be able to be naked with another human being. Particularly a man. He says I might also get better. With time."

There was a long pause. House wished he could see Wilson's eyes, but he kept them low and carefully avoided his gaze.

"What I want is to be together with you. Every day, every month, every year. You're the one relationship I've built in my life, the one I want to keep, the person I'm happiest with. But if it's not enough for you, or too much, I will understand. I can make it on my own, I'm told. I will stay in therapy, try not to… not to give up."

House felt frightened. This was too much responsibility. How could he say yes? More importantly, how could he possibly say no? And when had Wilson grabbed his hand again, how come he hadn't noticed? The latter seemed a simpler issue, and he decided to focus on it.

"How about holding hands?"

Wilson smiled again, and suddenly he had the contagious smile of a happy young boy, not the sad smirk of a man approaching middle age who had spent a week tied to a hospital bed after a failed suicide. It reminded him very much of the shy smile a young doctor had shared with the stranger that had just bailed him out of jail.

"Is it so unpleasant?"

House hadn't expected the question: he considered it by concentrating on the warm, strong fingers holding his, offering and demanding trust, and he found the answer easy.

"No, not really. Not at all, in fact."

Date: 2011-10-31 02:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alternatealto.livejournal.com
Wilson is asking a lot of House, here, and he knows it -- House hates change, and this is a lot of change for him to deal with. He's not unreasonable in asking for time to think about it!

I'm looking forward to the Epilogue -- I want to see how (or if) they work it out between them.

Date: 2011-10-31 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
It's reasonable that House needs time. OT In fact, one of my many pet peeves is that I don't get the typically romantic "will-you-marry-me" scenes. Sure you need to think about it long and hard?

Good to know you found it reasonable that House would be almost as frightened by the changes involved as by the idea of his best friend wanting to marry him.

Thank you so much for your comments.
Edited Date: 2011-10-31 09:06 pm (UTC)

Date: 2011-10-31 04:10 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-10-31 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
As soon as I finish obsessively editing :).

Date: 2011-10-31 04:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] menolly-au.livejournal.com
I think HOuse needs a little to catch up on the rapid change of events. I still think moving away would be the best thing for both of them really in canon land but it's a big step to take, given how difficult it might be for them both to find work together (it must be together!) somewhere else. Looking forward to the epilogue.

Date: 2011-10-31 09:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
House needs time, and the epilogue will take place a few months later.
it must be together!
Of course :).

Thank you!

Date: 2011-10-31 09:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yarroway.livejournal.com
Wow. Like Alternatealto said, Wilson is asking a *lot*. I have a feeling House will say yes, though.

Date: 2011-10-31 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
Wilson is asking what he wants, and yes, it's a lot. The question is whether House could ever say no, feeling as guilty as he does. On the other hand, while he's definitely sincere when he muses there's no love involved, I'm not sure it happens to be the truth.

Date: 2011-10-31 11:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hibernia1.livejournal.com
Wilson is putting too much responsibility on House's shoulders with this, but I don't think he's trying to manipulate him on purpose. Can't wait to see how this will play out! Very powerful writing, thanks for sharing!

Date: 2011-10-31 09:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
House has strong shoulders :). No, for once Wilson's not being manipulative, just honest.

Thank you so much (and lovely icon)!

Date: 2011-11-01 08:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hibernia1.livejournal.com
I like the "for once", you know Wilson well!

Date: 2011-11-02 03:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
How cool can HL's smile be? (feel urgent need for more icons)(sorry for lack of coherent answer, your fault)


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