damigella: (sad_thoughtful_wilson)
[personal profile] damigella
Drabble Prologue
Chapter 1, warnings, and stuff.
Chapter 2


"So now you know. I'm terribly sorry. I never thought he could... they could..."

He didn't finish the sentence, but Wilson nodded briefly, then seemed lost in thought for a while. House waited anxiously for his reaction. Although whatever Wilson was going to say couldn't possibly make him feel worse than he already did.

"House, you did nothing wrong. In fact, you refused to break the law. You shouldn't feel guilty." He paused. "But it's good that you do, because I need you to testify against Mendelsohn."

They were sitting at either end of the couch, but this sentence alone was enough to make House painfully aware of the distance between them. A distance due to his having been in jail, having experienced first hand the power of people like Mendelsohn, the meaninglessness of the law.

"I'm deeply grateful that you got me out, but this is too dangerous for both of us. I can't do that."

"It seems the only way to keep you out of the suspect list."

"They can't punish me for something I haven't done."

House was not sure he was completely convincing. Or sincere.

"Fine. Forget about that. I want that criminal to be punished for what he did to me, and I need your help for that."

"Wilson, Mendelsohn has many friends outside. You only met three of them, and I think it was enough. If we accuse him we're both dead."

"Four of them. And if I don't try to stop him, I'll feel like an accomplice."

He had heard that Wilson had needed three units of blood, but it wasn't because of this that he was so pale now. His lips were pressed so thin as to be almost invisible, but his eyes were steady, and finally it was House that had to lower his gaze.

"Wilson, this is insane."

What could he do to make him understand?

"No. What happened to me because of bringing you some groceries is insane."

"Wilson, it's all my fault. Just stop visiting me and you'll be safe."

"You don't understand, House, do you? I tried crying, tried offering them money, tried telling them I wasn't your boyfriend, and they didn't care. When I said I might bleed to death from the knife wound in my arm the one behind me laughed and said 'You're bleeding from your ass, too. Makes you nice and slick.' They could be doing it to a child next time. It's not your fault, and I want him, them, in jail. For a very long time."

Nonsense. This was all his fault of course. If only he hadn't made Mendelsohn angry. Better yet, he should not have resumed his friendship with Wilson. He was an ex-convict. What right did he have to involve a honest man in criminal business? And, of course, if he hadn't driven into Cuddy's place...

"House. Will you do it?"

There was so much pure pain in his friend's face that House didn't feel able to say no.

"I... I will. But think about it, please. No rash decisions."

"I don't think I'll be able to think of anything else for a very long time."

-----

"What happened?"

Wilson had arrived at work almost three hours late, and hadn't even pretended to go to this office. Instead he had barged into House's with an expression that had prompted his team to leave while he hung up his coat. Six days had passed since they had spoken with the police, a higher-level inspector that was extremely interested in finally putting an end to Mendelsohn's career.

"Here, have a look."

House's first thought at the sight of the printed photo was that the burned remains of the Volvo had a certain sinister elegance the original car never had. Unfortunately, it was immediately followed by a second.

"Wilson... it was a message. The next time they won't just burn your property."

"I'm scared, too. But I have to do what is right. I've been to the police already."

"Why? You're just a regular guy that ended up involved in a deal inside a prison. It's very unlikely this will ever happen again, to you or to anyone else. Normally Mendelsohn would have gotten his vengeance on me directly."

Wilson snapped, and shouted his answer. All activity in the orthopedy room near House's ceased, and most people didn't even try to hide the fact they were listening.

"And this would be better how? You're an ex-convict, House, but you're still a human being. Even murderers have a right not to be raped, not to be physically harmed. Being a prisoner doesn't change anyone's fundamental rights."

"It does. Every time I look at the anklet, it's as if I was back in there. You don't know what it's like, Wilson. Jail makes you feel an animal, or at least a very inferior race. A slave. Knowing that everyone there has power over you... you'd do anything, accept anything. Prison's there to break you."

He shivered at the recollection. Sometimes he felt that the lack of physical privacy alone had been enough to change him forever. But how could he explain to Wilson the deep meaning of a bathroom door?

"This is crazy. You need to see a therapist."

"Not that I'd want to, but I can't anyway. Because I don't want one within PPTH and I can't go anywhere else. Plus, I can't afford one."

Wilson stood up. He was obviously frightened, but the stubborness was stronger than the fear.

"I should go to work now. I'll see you this evening, maybe I can come with you and then borrow your car to drive home."

------

The moment House opened the door he knew why his key had mysteriously vanished after lunch and only reappeared on his desk about three hours later. Also why Wilson had insisted on accompanying him to his own door, under pretext of asking his opinion on a particular case.

"I do like black leather, but I still want my own couch back."

"It was stained with vomit, House. Plus, this has a real bed in it."

"You bought a design couch for that? I haven't had a guest overnight since I came back."

The word prison hovered in the air, but this time no one was strong enough to speak it aloud.

"I'm actually planning to move in here for a while, if it's okay with you. I'll pay rent, too."

"Wilson, this is the craziest thing you've said in a long while."

"It's just practical. I am doing all your shopping as is, so I would save time, and we can both use your car so I wouldn't need a new one. I can rent out the condo and use the money to pay you rent and for a therapist who does home calls."

"I don't need therapy."

"You do, but I can't force you. No, the therapist's for me. I've been having nightmares since the assault, but today I got my first panic attack."

Wilson lowered his voice, looked pointedly at his immaculate shoes.

"At least there's always a police car near here. I'm afraid of being home alone."

House wasn't even sure he had heard the last sentence right. Maybe he just imagined it, it seemed so nonsensical.

Date: 2011-10-26 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alternatealto.livejournal.com
(Whimper) Oh, poor Wilson . . . and House. But kudos to Wilson for showing how strong he is, in spite of everything. It's not at all nonsensical for him to be afraid of being home alone!

And they both need therapy, definitely.

Date: 2011-10-26 04:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
Wilson is stronger than House right now. And of course, it's not nonsensical, just House isn't thinking right. For him, the right thing to do is to shut up, as a result of his prison stay, as seen in canon [livejournal.com profile] menolly_au's Start Again.

Date: 2011-10-26 01:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pgrabia.livejournal.com
PTSD can be a terrible thing--I know, I still suffer from it because of what happened to me in my childhood. Flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, unstable emotions, persistent fear...I feel for Wilson, but also for House. It only makes sense that Wilson moves in with House. They both are in danger and there is safety in numbers. Looking forward to the next chapter. (:

Date: 2011-10-26 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
They are both in danger, their safety comes from being together, and PSTD is a terrible thing. Have you read my hard disk?

It is terrible to think you know this from direct experience. (hugs)

Date: 2011-10-26 03:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yarroway.livejournal.com
I like all the twists and turns you've included. I love Wilson taking charge like this, too.

Date: 2011-10-26 04:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
Wilson has the advantage that he believes in justice. I'm not sure House does. But he follows his requests because he loves him he can't make him suffer more.

Date: 2011-10-26 08:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] menolly-au.livejournal.com
Wilson might be better off at House's place as there is police protection there.

but this sentence alone was enough to make House painfully aware of the distance between them. A distance due to his having been in jail, having experienced first hand the power of people like Mendelsohn, the meaninglessness of the law.

I like that you're showing the effects on House of being imprisoned, and the ankle monitor is a constant reminder that he's not really free.

And I do like a 'take charge' Wilson (as you know:)

Jail makes you feel an animal, or at least a very inferior race. A slave.

Hmm - I'm not saying anything:) I might have to send Tailkinker over here to talk to you :)

Date: 2011-10-26 05:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
I think we don't see enough yet in canon of the longterm effect on House's psyche of the prison and anklet time. I must admit I'm still shocked by 8.01: to me forcing adults to go to the bathroom in the presence of strangers for non-medical, non-emergency reasons is psychological torture, and should be forbidden.

The police isn't protecting House as much as keeping an eye on him because he already broke his parole agreement, but yes, they're there.

I do love in charge!wilson too :).

Date: 2011-10-26 02:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] resm.livejournal.com
Awk poor Wilson! Glad he's finding strength in House though, even if House isn't so certain that he can protect him.

Date: 2011-10-26 05:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
he's finding strength in House though
Yes. That's precisely what I wanted to say: House is the source of Wlson's strength. (does happy dance).

Date: 2011-10-26 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com
oh, the poor guys. I just want to hug both of them here.

Date: 2011-10-26 05:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
You may want to do so even more as the fic goes on. It's dark (although there's no more sexual violence, at least).

Date: 2011-10-27 06:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hibernia1.livejournal.com
Go, Wilson!!

Date: 2011-10-28 07:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] damigella-314.livejournal.com
I love justice-seeking Wilson. Which is why I always have bad things happen to him, LOL ;).

Thank you for support!

Date: 2011-10-29 08:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hibernia1.livejournal.com
You´re very welcome!

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